Change Hurts, But Hold On!

As a woman of faith I often find myself having very candid conversations with God. In the beginning they were more like one sided arguments and pity parties. However, the more I found out about the nature of God the more our conversations progressed. Little by little I started to notice small changes in my life. God pointing me to do this and telling me to stay away from that; walking as he patiently guided my footsteps. I almost never have suddenly moments with God he has always brings me through. People talk about overnight miracles well that most definitely is not me. Sometimes I get really frustrated with that; seeing so many people in my life get blessed with things I have been praying for, for years. It gets really rough, but tonight God reminded me that change hurts.

In almost every uncomfortable situation I have been in, I have always grown. Looking back I always prayed for God to deliver me from the hard stuff immediately but he chose to bring me through. I had to be in those moments to become myself. I had to go through the hurt of losing someone to make me compassionate to those people going through the same. I had to be broke and penny less in order to understand how to invest and save. I had to be sick and unhealthy in order to value my life and the temple in which I dwell. I had to die in order to really live; and more importantly to teach and inspire others around me to do the same.

Life happens in the ugly, hard and tearful moments. Times when we think we can’t take it another day; that is when life happens. We change and grow through the ugliness and hurt; that faith we carry through the hard times becomes the foundation of our joy. We not only see ourselves for who we truly are but we see God for who he truly is.

 I think often of the things I could do to speed up the process of waiting on God and to hurry the change. I am sure people wonder why I have not made it to certain milestones in my life. For instance so many people have been reminding me of my singleness lately, even people I would have never expected. “You’re so pretty and smart, did you ever think of dating (insert random guy’s name)?” It is hard to explain to people the concept of waiting on God and patience it takes when God is really ordering your life. It’s hard not to cave into the culture we live in and the demands of family and friends but there is a better way.

I’ve already lived the life of trying to satisfy the world’s expectations, and it is not a fun existence. I did it for many years chasing after this job, following after this man, holding on to false ideologies and at the end of it all I was left more hopeless and depressed than when I started. Yes now my steps are ordered by God but I wake up every day with an extra pep in my step, I genuinely have so much love in my heart it hurts, the peace I have is indescribable and I glow with the love of God.

I know that times get hard but HOLD ON! Be encouraged. There is a reason that you are there. Embrace being molded and broken right now. God loves you. Become a student of your life, take in the lessons that the hard times bring and think daily about what God is trying to teach you through your circumstances.

Are you going through a hard time? Is it hard to follow God’s lead for your life? Have you successfully made it to another mountain top? Share your success, trial and encouragement. 

Free Yourself from Calories!

I remember being over 200 pounds and desperate. I had tried everything and nothing was working. So one day feeling very low I humbly joined a weight loss club. I was so excited! I remember buying all of the books, weighing in at the meetings and joining my group members weekly to discuss our weight loss issues. My instructor often brought us free “weight loss club” snacks that were very low in calories but very delicious. I signed the dotted line and thought I had found my people! It was comforting to be able to discuss my late night binges, or the really BAD weekends of throwing caution to the wind; those people understood. There was an unsaid “Eating-fat -while-trying-to-be-skinny” mentality that existed in my club. Weekly we shared our low calories food finds. For example; “ABC Company makes this delicious dessert that is only 10 calories” or “XYZ brands makes this yummy cheese spread that is only 15 calories.” I remember one night eating 5 of those 100 calories snack pack cookies and thinking; this can’t be healthy, but at least it was only 500 calories. I finally came to the end of my 6 month weight loss club membership only having lost 7 pounds; I knew then there had to be a better way.

The problem was the weight loss club’s reasoning for my future weight loss success was based on a math equation (factoring in no variables). They told me I could still eat the horrible bad food that got me overweight BUT they were just going to replace it with a lower calorie, chemically altered, extra processed replacement; instead of teaching me how to reprogram my relationship with unhealthy food. Yes for some this works for a while. We eat the lower calorie cookie instead of the really bad cookie or we eat the extra thin pizza instead of the doughy pizza; thinking all the while this will last. Well the process is doomed from the start. The focus is on what we can’t have instead of what we can. We are constantly reminded of the really good versions of the stuff that makes us obese, and before long we are back to buying the same foods that made us overweight in the first place. It is a vicious cycle.

But there is a better way! The process I went through to lose weight was all about retraining my taste buds and focusing nutrition. Most yummy horrible foods today are packed with flavor but low on nutrition; this is why you can still feel hungry after eating a big Mac with fries. I used to go into a deep depression after eating 3 slices of pizza and still having room for dessert, but it was all about the nutrition. I learned to like highly nutritious foods. The process of learning I went through was juice fasting (My juicing video), during this time my body was flushed of all toxins and my cravings for bad foods disappeared. While I fasted I researched nutritious foods that I planned on eating like: Kale, lentils, quinoa, squash and many more. The cool thing about fasting is it also makes you appreciate food, and so when I began eating healthy it was easy!

I encourage you to free yourself from calorie counting! Don’t get caught up in hype of calories in and calories out. While it is important to watch portions; the real focus should be on the nutritional content of the food you eat. Retrain your taste buds, get rid of the junk and become the healthy person you always wanted to be!

How was your experience in a weight loss club? How have you learned to eat healthy? Share your thoughts comments and questions below. 

My Resolve Manifesto

This year...

I resolve to work earnestly toward my dream .I resolve to not care what people think about who I am or the choices I make. I resolve to not answer the question “What do you do for a living” because if I said what I am doing they would not understand. I resolve to answer the question “Why are you single?” with a blank stare. I resolve to do more of what I love and less of what other people would love for me to do. I resolve to change the world by the way that I live and not by what I say.

This year...

I resolve to LOVE people regardless of whether I know them or not, but love them just because we are here on earth together. I resolve to dance more often with or without music. I resolve to get away more, build more tents and gaze at more views.

This year...

I resolve that I am different, I don't fit in, no one truly gets me and I think God made it that way so I would learn to solely trust in him. I resolve to not engage false company, life is too short. I resolve not to jump into a box full of labels just to make someone feel comfortable with who I am. I resolve to not diminish myself; YES I am as great as they think and NO I will not apologize for it.

This year...

I resolve to be even more awesome then I was last year so if I wasn't liked then, BRACE yourself! I resolve not to apologize for my love of Jesus, it is through him that I am so amazing and his love that has helped me overcome, if that makes someone feel uncomfortable maybe they should stick around this site a little longer and find out why. I resolve to shake off all the self-inflicted expectations of this this world, people and society and just LIVE.

This year I resolve to be GREAT.

New Year God's Promises Board

We have come to the end of 2012! Woot Woot!

I am sure all of you are familiar with a vision board. Its board of pictures and goals you want to accomplish in a given year; it is a fun reminder to stay focused. I have made them in the past, but as I grow in faith my boards don’t quite seem like enough. Instead of asking God to bless my agenda, I needed to ask him to reveal his purpose for my life.

So this year I made a God’s Promises Board. I made a list of all the things I wanted improve upon and all the ways I saw myself fulfilling God’s purpose. Once I wrote down my affirming statement I wrote a scripture underneath that confirms that statement. I hung it on my bathroom door so that every morning I can read is OUT LOUD the affirmation and the promise. I stress the out loud reading of God’s word because that is when change happens! Excerpt from my board:

 My statement: I am pure love; people's lives are changed just by the evidence of God in my life

Confirmation: “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:35)

My Statement: God hears my prayers and he knows me

Confirmation: “And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” (Mathew 10:31)

To me this is a daily reminder that aligns my purpose with God’s will. I think it’s a perfect way to start off the New Year and to stay on track for what I am really striving for.

So this year create a God’s Promises Board, Happy New Year!

Where is the Love?

To some extent whether we admit it or not we are all on a quest to find love. We look for love in people, relationships, success and hobbies. Our actions are motivated by our quest for love; we change our appearance, we change our minds and we even change who we truly are all to feel the love. Media tells us that love is hard to find; so we sign up for eHarmony and Match.com to find love. We spend billions each year to lose weight and look sexy in hopes of finding love. Even Instagram has capitalized on love by using heart icons, which make us feel warm and fuzzy when people use them. Why do we believe that the love we need is scarce? That we can only create it through a romantic relationships, family and friends?

I watched this documentary once about people who have near death experiences. One woman said that when she died for a few minutes she saw the light, she felt this overwhelming feeling of love come over her, of which she had never experienced. As a result, she believes that our time here on earth is spent trying to get back to that love and filling that space in our hearts with anything we believe will get us closer. I will never forget her story. The woman continued to explain how the source of that powerful love was God and how we struggle to get back to that love our entire lives.

Real love starts within. I know it is cliché and over used but I never quite understood that until recently. Over the past year I have been having these powerful and amazing interactions with all people both new and old in my life. It was as if time spent with these people was deeper and more meaningful. I would walk away from conversations with people and they would tell me things like “I am so grateful I met you” or “This time spent has really changed my life” or “Thank you for noticing me”… really profound things. At first I just brushed it off; but then I started to notice how full my heart felt when I am truly engaged with someone and how their face lit up and the way it felt when we connected. It was as if the love was tangible like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. The more I looked to engage and have these experiences with people the more people looked to love and engage with me. And without finding a boyfriend, adopting a puppy or running to my natural family my love tank is overflowing.

I have never felt like this before in my life. I know it wasn’t the people that changed but it was my heart that changed. All the time I spent praying to God to mold me into a vessel, reading the word of God and thanking God; I finally received the heart of God. Through Christ Jesus he showed me how to protect that love by discerning things that would break my heart, or media that would instill fear. I have to be diligent about the things I feed my mind and heart because it can be just as destructive as the things I feed my body. By doing all of this I am now at a place where daily I can give and receive love without fear or scarcity.

Every day is an adventure because I never know just how much love is coming my way. I challenge you to do the same. Open your heart and allow God to mold you and get ready to receive all the love that you have been looking for.

Do you feel alone and unloved? Do you experience this type of love daily? Have you had a change of heart? Share your thoughts and comments!