SPIRIT: GETTING OVER HURT

 

I remember two years ago googling “How to get over a broken heart.” I was so desperate for answers at that time I turned to google. I was really hurting. I was hurt because someone had broken my heart and I was hurt by the choices that I had made in my life. The funny thing about hurt is that we just don't come out and say “I am hurt.” Hurt manifest itself in different ways. We lash out, drink too much, gain weight, make reckless choices, or slowly begin to isolate and it is scary to think about the effects of hurt.

I specifically remember this period of time two years ago. I was always on the go, trying to cover up hurt by escalating things with this guy I was seeing and drinking way to much. I believe I had a breakdown. I remember vividly one night just crying on my bathroom floor hurt because I was in still in love with someone I couldn't have, hurt because I had no career, hurt because I wasn't the person I thought I would be at that point. I remember that night so clear because I prayed harder then I had in my entire life. I know that things changed for me at that moment, if felt as if God had given me peace and hope. I stopped crying and just laid there calm.

All the hurt was not gone but I knew something had changed within me. I couldn't go back. When it came to changing who I was and getting over the hurt it was up to me and God. I could no longer ease the pain with life's distractions. I had to put on my big girl shoes and face life. I had to take care of myself. That week I signed up to do my first triathlon to raise money for leukemia. I had no clue what I was doing but I needed to do something. During that time I signed up to do volunteer work with children as a soccer coach. I also planned a trip abroad. I am not going to lie sometimes the hurt stung so bad that I could cry at a moments notice. However, by continuously putting myself in situations to work toward a goal that was bigger then my problems I was strengthened. It took me a while I had some relapses. Day by day I noticed I was changing. Things that I used to need in order to cope like boyfriends, food, partying were all becoming irrelevant. 

Everyone has dealt with some type of hurt in their lives. I think the first step to overcoming hurt is recognizing that it is there. Then addressing all of the things that we do as a result of hurt. It is so easy to get consumed by the pain and emotion of it all but you must reach for something that is bigger then yourself. I reached for God. I also reached for purpose. I looked to causes and things that I could do that would get me out of my own way. I truly believe that this is how you get past the hurt. Once you let the hurt go then one day you can work on the forgiveness.

Don't allow your past hurt define who you are today.

Have you ever overcome hurt? If you could give someone advice who is facing hurt right now what would it be? Share your thoughts! 

STYLE: "If these clothes could talk" Ep.1 Khaleeqa

TRAINING TUESDAYS: MEET GREG BALDWIN

Greg Baldwin

32

Owner/Trainer Greg Baldwin's Fitness

http://www.gregbaldwinfitness.com/

New York, NY


What event(s) are you currently training for and what does that include?

I am currently training for the Key West triathlon. It includes a 1500 meter swim, 24.9 mile back ride, 6.2 mile run.

What does your weekly workout out look like?

Due to my work schedule, the toughest thing to do is map out a weekly schedule that will allow me to train with the same schedule every week. I am usually free to train during the afternoon hours. I try to focus on my weakest area the most... swimming. I swim about 4 days a week an hour at a time. I typically use my Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday's ( my most consistent scheduling days) to do my bike and run training. Though most triathlons order of events are swim, bike, then run, I usually will start by taking a 6 mile run through Central Park, back to the gym and then cycle for 2 hrs.

What do you think is the hardest part about training and doing an endurance event?

The hardest part of doing a triathlon is maintaining consistency with your personal, work, and social life while doing as much as possible to prepare yourself for the event. There WILL be some aspect of your life that you can't give much time to because of the unbelievable commitment. There are moments when you are completely drained mentally as well as physically. It takes focus, determination, and a strong mind to maintain your sanity throughout training.

What benefits/rewards do you get from competing?

After spending majority of my life as an athlete and competing in intercollegiate sports while striving to pursue professional football; I felt a void in my life for a long time. Though I've had numerous experiences throughout my life, there is nothing that has given me the level of satisfaction and comfort I get from competing in sports.

What advice would you give someone looking to compete

I would advise someone of the time constraints associated with doing a triathlon. I would help them understand the commitment it takes to compete and finish a race. It is extremely important to give each portion of the triathlon the attention it needs and to give priority to training your weakest area. It is rewarding to participate, compete, and finish a triathlon no matter what place you finish in. There is an overall sense of camaraderie you experience from all the other participants who've endured the same obstacles you have to get to that moment. 

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP MAKING YOU FAT?

Yes, we are going there! We always try to keep it real on Paparoxi and in an effort to discuss the reality of staying healthy or losing weight our romantic relationship status often weighs heavy on how in shape or over weight we remain. Studies show that married couples between the ages of 20 to 35 gain 6 to 9 pounds more then their single counterparts. I can speak from both sides of the fence. I have been in a happy relationship and overweight. I have also been the slender single girl (and still am ;). Is there a link between staying fit and your love life?

Many will say it is security. Once you are in a happy relationship you don’t feel the need to go to the gym and stay fit because you have already landed your mate. Additionally, I believe most couple time revolves around food. Either you are going out to dinner, staying in and making dinner, or ordering out the focus is food. Before you know it, being in love has taken its toll on the scale. I also believe another culprit is time. The time you used to spend in your single life working out or being active is now spent snuggled up with your love, so it is hard to remain fit.

In relationships its either the unhealthy partner influencing the healthy one or the other way around. In my case it was the unhealthy influencing the healthy. I couldn’t hang with the late night meals, trips to Wendy’s and the plethora of chips and cookies always at my finger tips my body took a hit gaining more then 60 pounds. On a much deeper level, as much as I loved my boyfriend I am not quite sure how much I truly loved myself. Hind sight is 20/20 and I now know that when you really love yourself you take care of yourself which includes taking care of your body for life. Sometimes we put so much love into the partnership that we don’t take the time to love ourselves.

I am a very solutions oriented person so I am not going to leave you with just that. It is important to find balance with everything in life. So if you are in a loving relationship or plan on being one in future here are some things that you can do to beat the battle of the bulge:

Action packed quality time. Dates don’t only have to be dinner and a movie. Get moving! Find a cool flea market and walk around for the day, bike ride along the river and if your really brave take a romantic hike through the woods. There are so many things out there that don’t revolve around food. Finding other things to do besides eating together will only strengthen the relationship.

Be the influence. Chances are if you are reading this then you are the healthy one in the relationship. Do not let the dark side take you down, it will be hard but STAND FIRM. Most of the time when it comes to food and relationships usually there is no compromise someone wins out. If you are in love with someone who eats poorly you have to lead by example and bring them into the healthy light. I look at my sister’s relationship as a good example of this. At one point she was eating just like her fiancé lots of sweets and snacks. It wasn’t long before this took a toll on her body. Well she decided to clean up her diet and took her fiancé along with her (she almost made him vegan lol). Now they both look fantastic and are much healthier!

Claim your “me” time. In relationships we often become so consumed in the love and emotion of it all we forget about ourselves. We are constantly planning time together “we time” when we need to take time and plan “me time”. Take time to work on you and more importantly workout. Keep taking your yoga , zumba or spin class. Yea you might miss out on an hour with your sweetheart but you will be better for it. I always say to myself “I must be a better ME before I can be the best WE”.

Don’t get too comfortable. I hate to quote Lil Wayne on here but he said it best “It's all good when we making love, All I ask is don't take our love, For granted, it's granted My love for you, is real Baby if you don't love me Somebody else will So don't you ever get too comfortable”…he is right. We get comfortable and relaxed and take the love for granted but we should always want to be at our best for our significant other. I think of my parents who have been married for 27 years and my mother sometimes will just dress up for my dad for no reason, and as I child I would ask “ Mommy why are you so dressed up?“ now I understand. The same is true of staying fit. Take pride in looking your best for the one you love. Its shows more then love it shows appreciation and respect. It shows that you don’t take the relationship for granted and you will always try to look your best.

So what do you think? Is your relationship making you gain weight? How do you stay in shape while being in love? Share your thoughts. 

TRAINING TUESDAYS: 600 HOURS

Training can be rough. Doing long endurance events is not just a testament to your physical abilites it is mostly mental. This is one my favorite inspiration training videos. Enjoy!