IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP MAKING YOU FAT?

Yes, we are going there! We always try to keep it real on Paparoxi and in an effort to discuss the reality of staying healthy or losing weight our romantic relationship status often weighs heavy on how in shape or over weight we remain. Studies show that married couples between the ages of 20 to 35 gain 6 to 9 pounds more then their single counterparts. I can speak from both sides of the fence. I have been in a happy relationship and overweight. I have also been the slender single girl (and still am ;). Is there a link between staying fit and your love life?

Many will say it is security. Once you are in a happy relationship you don’t feel the need to go to the gym and stay fit because you have already landed your mate. Additionally, I believe most couple time revolves around food. Either you are going out to dinner, staying in and making dinner, or ordering out the focus is food. Before you know it, being in love has taken its toll on the scale. I also believe another culprit is time. The time you used to spend in your single life working out or being active is now spent snuggled up with your love, so it is hard to remain fit.

In relationships its either the unhealthy partner influencing the healthy one or the other way around. In my case it was the unhealthy influencing the healthy. I couldn’t hang with the late night meals, trips to Wendy’s and the plethora of chips and cookies always at my finger tips my body took a hit gaining more then 60 pounds. On a much deeper level, as much as I loved my boyfriend I am not quite sure how much I truly loved myself. Hind sight is 20/20 and I now know that when you really love yourself you take care of yourself which includes taking care of your body for life. Sometimes we put so much love into the partnership that we don’t take the time to love ourselves.

I am a very solutions oriented person so I am not going to leave you with just that. It is important to find balance with everything in life. So if you are in a loving relationship or plan on being one in future here are some things that you can do to beat the battle of the bulge:

Action packed quality time. Dates don’t only have to be dinner and a movie. Get moving! Find a cool flea market and walk around for the day, bike ride along the river and if your really brave take a romantic hike through the woods. There are so many things out there that don’t revolve around food. Finding other things to do besides eating together will only strengthen the relationship.

Be the influence. Chances are if you are reading this then you are the healthy one in the relationship. Do not let the dark side take you down, it will be hard but STAND FIRM. Most of the time when it comes to food and relationships usually there is no compromise someone wins out. If you are in love with someone who eats poorly you have to lead by example and bring them into the healthy light. I look at my sister’s relationship as a good example of this. At one point she was eating just like her fiancé lots of sweets and snacks. It wasn’t long before this took a toll on her body. Well she decided to clean up her diet and took her fiancé along with her (she almost made him vegan lol). Now they both look fantastic and are much healthier!

Claim your “me” time. In relationships we often become so consumed in the love and emotion of it all we forget about ourselves. We are constantly planning time together “we time” when we need to take time and plan “me time”. Take time to work on you and more importantly workout. Keep taking your yoga , zumba or spin class. Yea you might miss out on an hour with your sweetheart but you will be better for it. I always say to myself “I must be a better ME before I can be the best WE”.

Don’t get too comfortable. I hate to quote Lil Wayne on here but he said it best “It's all good when we making love, All I ask is don't take our love, For granted, it's granted My love for you, is real Baby if you don't love me Somebody else will So don't you ever get too comfortable”…he is right. We get comfortable and relaxed and take the love for granted but we should always want to be at our best for our significant other. I think of my parents who have been married for 27 years and my mother sometimes will just dress up for my dad for no reason, and as I child I would ask “ Mommy why are you so dressed up?“ now I understand. The same is true of staying fit. Take pride in looking your best for the one you love. Its shows more then love it shows appreciation and respect. It shows that you don’t take the relationship for granted and you will always try to look your best.

So what do you think? Is your relationship making you gain weight? How do you stay in shape while being in love? Share your thoughts. 

TRAINING TUESDAYS: 600 HOURS

Training can be rough. Doing long endurance events is not just a testament to your physical abilites it is mostly mental. This is one my favorite inspiration training videos. Enjoy!

SPIRIT: LEARNING HOW TO WAIT

We are living in the generation of NOW. We get upset if the internet is too slow, when our food takes 10 minutes longer then it should it is grounds for a bad tip and traffic being held up for road work is simply maddening. In order for us to be happy things must happen quickly. This “have it now” mentality often translates to life's goals. We all want it now; career, love and money. We often feel depressed if things seem to be going slow. Instead of waiting for things to pan out we force the issue. We may jump into a career solely for the money and advancement instead of pursuing a career that is our real passion. We may stay in a relationship for the security instead of venturing out to find what we really want.

I am not talking about passively sitting around allowing life to pass by. I am talking about actively working every day at pursing our goals and not compromising just to have the career, love and finances NOW. The act of doing this is much harder then it sounds. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a control freak. Therefore I have had to master the art of waiting.

Waiting is necessary because it teaches and prepares us. Its the time to find out who we really are and what we really love. While we wait we become better in our career of choice and get the experience we need to get to the next level. While we wait we learn to save and pinch pennies to prepare for having lots of money. While we wait we learn to really love ourselves, and understand what we would like to find in someone that would compliment our life. Yes it is easy to say wait, but how exactly do we go about waiting?

Career. In today's job market, it is a little more challenging to break into the industry of choice and pursue your passion. While waiting master your craft. Read as many books as possible. Network. Attend events where people in that industry congregate. Don't just have a resume have a website too, take your chances to the next level. If you want to make movies, write books, or design clothes don't sit around start making your own movies, writing books and designing clothes. Again waiting is not being passive, it is a time to prepare.

Finances. Everyone at a minimum strives to have a comfortable life, where money is a non issue. While you wait for that moment in life you must prepare. I believe that life is a test and often God test us to see if we can handle the next level. So if you recklessly spend money like you have it now then chances are it will take you much longer to get to the point of financial freedom. While you wait, save, invest, look for opportunities to be responsible with money. Prepare your mind to live within your means, most millionaires have this mentality.

Love. This can be one of the most difficult areas for us to learn to wait. For some of us from the time we started dating we always had someone. Either we are in a relationship, talking to someone, have plan A thru D a text away or some type of mutation of a relationship that we have in our lives. If you have always had someone in the picture then it is often very scary to “wait” by yourself. Well if one day you would like to have an incredible love in your life then you need to become the person you want to be with. We all have some sort of mental checklist of attributes for the person we hope to be with. We want someone compassionate, loving, sexy, smart, kind, funny, giving and the list goes on. Use this waiting time to become that person. Become a little more selfless, give back to others, go to the gym become a better you.

So what do you think? Is there an area of your life that you are currently waiting in? How have you learned to wait? Have you become better after your waiting period? Share your thoughts.  

TRAINING TUESDAYS: 6 STEPS TO BECOMING A RUNNER

 

This Training Tuesday I thought I would share some information about running. A majority of the emails that I receive about fitness always seem to be centered around running. Most people usually give it a good try for a few months, then give up in frustration when things are not going smoothly. To be honest initially I was not a fan of running, I hated it. For those of you who have tried you know exactly what I am talking about. From the cramping, thirst, chest pain, shin splints, breathing issues, sports bras and the plethora of other things we face when we run; it is easy to just give up. So here are a few tips to make your transition to running easier:

Get the right sneakers. This is a big one. Not, having the right sneakers will shorten your run life. I am sorry to say the right sneakers for you to run in are usually are not found at footlocker or any of the other famous sneaker stores. If you are experiencing foot, shin and knee problems when you run chances are the right sneaker is the first remedy. The best place to get the right sneakers is a store that specializes in running. Usually this process involves bringing your old sneakers so they can look at the run pattern. From there, they will look at how you walk, they will watch you run on a treadmill and they will ask you several questions about the manner in which your run. It may be a little more expensive but you will thank me later!

Eat at the right time. This process can be a little trial and error at first but there are generally a few rules to stick to. You shouldn't eat a heavy meal right before you run, it is run suicide. Instead, wait 2 to 3 hours for your meal to digest. Additionally, you need to eat something. If you run in the morning have something light like a protein bar (stay away from heavy sugar this usually will make you want to go to the bathroom during the run). If you run in the evening make sure you have a snack about 90 minutes before your run, something like a rice cake, protein bar or half of peanut butter sandwich. Stay away from fiber, diary and sugar those tend to produce cramps.

Start slow and build. It would be nice if we could start our first day back running (after not being active for 3 months or more) and bang out 10 miles. It doesn't exactly work like that. You must build slowly. Instead of looking at the miles in the beginning focus on the time. Start running for 20 minutes and then keep adding on 10 minutes each week. Before you know it you will be up to 10 miles or more and be very comfortable.

 Wear the right clothing. For me this is the biggest annoyance while running. Whether it is a sports bar that doesn't hold, shorts that keep riding up or a shirt that doesn't wick away your sweat clothing issues can be a big deterrent to running. I am not saying go out an buy a whole new wardrobe, but find your problem area and get the proper garment to fit you. I tend to wear clothes that fit you close (not too tight) work best. While out of shape areas will flap in the wind under baggy clothes, a more fitted attire will help to keep things in place.

Properly hydrate the day before. I can not say this enough! Most people believe that only drinking while you run is important. While it is important to drink during, it is much more important to drink before. I tend to drink 16 more ounces then normal the day before a run. Keep a thermos with you and keep filling it up throughout the day. It is crucial you get plenty of water before running you will feel a HUGE difference when you are properly hydrated.

Get the proper rest. Feeling well resting will give you the extra kick at the end. Usually if you run tired you feel restless and want to quit. Having enough sleep will allow you do your best and run better. This is especially important when you start getting into longer runs.

Are there any additional tips you have to becoming a runner? Do you have any questions about running that we didn't address? Leave a comment! 

STYLE: IS YOUR STYLE AN EXTENSION OF YOU?

So this Friday I thought we would keep it light and talk about fashion. I am a bona fide fashion junky! I love it all. Many of us have a manifold of options to choose from when it comes to style. You have the biker look, military chic, grunge, ethereal whatever your heart desires. However, as the old saying goes “Everything is not for everybody.” And this is particularly true with fashion.

We have all gone through bad fashion phases in our lives. I remember when I was in junior high school and I was obsessed with the movie Clueless I would sneak thigh highs to school and wear them with a short skirt. I thought I was so cute, however when I got caught my parents thought I was anything but cute. As recent as 2008 I saw a photograph of myself the other day with thick black tights and leopard printed peeped toed shoes in the dead of winter (Shaking My Head). So what is the difference from then and now?

Well for starters, I feel that I know myself much better and so I know what works for my body. I think in the past I was a fashion troubleshooter. I wasted a lot of money on clothes that just didn't do it for me. Secondly, I believe that my motivation behind outfits has changed. At one point I would dress to fit in with the crowd, now I don't care what others think. I dress for myself. Now I believe that my fashion sense is an extension of all the style and creativity that manifest itself in my life. Therefore, many of the clothes in my closet are similar in taste to the décor of my personal space, and the style in which I create thing online (this website) it all works together as an extension of me.

So the question I pose today: Is your personal style an extension of you? I see many people out there that get it, they are working it every day with their personal fashion sense. Then I see many people that do not get it. Its not because they are not trying, but taking a cookie cutter style like tribal, military or vintage and just throwing it on doesn't make it work. Its essential to add the YOU-factor. That is what turns a trendy ordinary outfit to a unique extraordinary look!

For me this means taking something trendy and adding accessories that represent my style or a classic shape or fit I always wear. It takes time! Trust me I am still learning. So I encourage you to have fun when seeking your personal style. I am sure you will make mistakes from time to time but, as time goes on your will eventually know what works uniquely for YOU!