IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP MAKING YOU FAT?

Yes, we are going there! We always try to keep it real on Paparoxi and in an effort to discuss the reality of staying healthy or losing weight our romantic relationship status often weighs heavy on how in shape or over weight we remain. Studies show that married couples between the ages of 20 to 35 gain 6 to 9 pounds more then their single counterparts. I can speak from both sides of the fence. I have been in a happy relationship and overweight. I have also been the slender single girl (and still am ;). Is there a link between staying fit and your love life?

Many will say it is security. Once you are in a happy relationship you don’t feel the need to go to the gym and stay fit because you have already landed your mate. Additionally, I believe most couple time revolves around food. Either you are going out to dinner, staying in and making dinner, or ordering out the focus is food. Before you know it, being in love has taken its toll on the scale. I also believe another culprit is time. The time you used to spend in your single life working out or being active is now spent snuggled up with your love, so it is hard to remain fit.

In relationships its either the unhealthy partner influencing the healthy one or the other way around. In my case it was the unhealthy influencing the healthy. I couldn’t hang with the late night meals, trips to Wendy’s and the plethora of chips and cookies always at my finger tips my body took a hit gaining more then 60 pounds. On a much deeper level, as much as I loved my boyfriend I am not quite sure how much I truly loved myself. Hind sight is 20/20 and I now know that when you really love yourself you take care of yourself which includes taking care of your body for life. Sometimes we put so much love into the partnership that we don’t take the time to love ourselves.

I am a very solutions oriented person so I am not going to leave you with just that. It is important to find balance with everything in life. So if you are in a loving relationship or plan on being one in future here are some things that you can do to beat the battle of the bulge:

Action packed quality time. Dates don’t only have to be dinner and a movie. Get moving! Find a cool flea market and walk around for the day, bike ride along the river and if your really brave take a romantic hike through the woods. There are so many things out there that don’t revolve around food. Finding other things to do besides eating together will only strengthen the relationship.

Be the influence. Chances are if you are reading this then you are the healthy one in the relationship. Do not let the dark side take you down, it will be hard but STAND FIRM. Most of the time when it comes to food and relationships usually there is no compromise someone wins out. If you are in love with someone who eats poorly you have to lead by example and bring them into the healthy light. I look at my sister’s relationship as a good example of this. At one point she was eating just like her fiancé lots of sweets and snacks. It wasn’t long before this took a toll on her body. Well she decided to clean up her diet and took her fiancé along with her (she almost made him vegan lol). Now they both look fantastic and are much healthier!

Claim your “me” time. In relationships we often become so consumed in the love and emotion of it all we forget about ourselves. We are constantly planning time together “we time” when we need to take time and plan “me time”. Take time to work on you and more importantly workout. Keep taking your yoga , zumba or spin class. Yea you might miss out on an hour with your sweetheart but you will be better for it. I always say to myself “I must be a better ME before I can be the best WE”.

Don’t get too comfortable. I hate to quote Lil Wayne on here but he said it best “It's all good when we making love, All I ask is don't take our love, For granted, it's granted My love for you, is real Baby if you don't love me Somebody else will So don't you ever get too comfortable”…he is right. We get comfortable and relaxed and take the love for granted but we should always want to be at our best for our significant other. I think of my parents who have been married for 27 years and my mother sometimes will just dress up for my dad for no reason, and as I child I would ask “ Mommy why are you so dressed up?“ now I understand. The same is true of staying fit. Take pride in looking your best for the one you love. Its shows more then love it shows appreciation and respect. It shows that you don’t take the relationship for granted and you will always try to look your best.

So what do you think? Is your relationship making you gain weight? How do you stay in shape while being in love? Share your thoughts. 

MY FAMILY'S WEIGHT LOSS STORY

FOR GRAM

Hey RoxNation!

Today I would like to share the story of my family. I believe that family is very important and essential to success in life, whether it be a family of actual relatives or a family of friends it is essential to have a good support system of people in your life. People, who have loved you at your worst and can celebrate with you at your best.

Well my family happens to be my support system. I have not only gone through a weight loss transformation WE ALL HAVE. In the picture above we were all at our heaviest weight. I remember during that time our family was extremely inactive. Coming home for holidays or events we would all sit around and watch movies or eat until we were ready to pop. Our family also had different health problems. My youngest sister (featured in the middle) battled with constant stomach aches and sickness, my father battled with gout and many other ailments we were not in a good place. It just felt as if our family was moving in slow motion. I view weight gain and obesity as being a symptom of a much larger issue and so during that time we were coping with a lot of instability and I believe that took its toll on us through weight gain and poor heath.

Almost a year after that photograph was taken we lost our beloved great grandmother “gram” who lived with us for many years. I do believe this was the catalyst. It was actually my youngest sister at the age of 15 (who was the closest to my gram) who started down the path to health. In less than year’s time she lost a whapping 65 pounds by changing her diet. I had already begun to loose my first 30 pounds. My father had the most dramatic transformation loosing over 100 pounds through diet and exercise. My other sister who lived in Pittsburgh at the time had ironically began on her path toward fitness too. Today we have all lost 300 pounds collectively.

Needless to say our family is completely different today. Family events and gatherings are stocked with plenty of healthy options. Last Thanksgiving we did a completely Vegan menu and it tasted AMAZING! Instead of watching movies all the time we go out for walks, play tennis and go swimming. Just yesterday my sisters and I went for a long swim at the pool only to find my father downstairs in the weight room lifting his personal best. We were always rich with love before now we are rich with health, vitality and success.

I hope this article inspires you or your family to take the first step toward a happier life. You don’t have to accept your current conditions you can change your life!

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FITNESS: "THICK VS. FAT"

So this hotly contended topic is something that throughout my life I have often thought about. I mean really how do you define Fat vs. Thick?

From my own personal experience throughout my life I have always thought of myself as a “Thick Chick” meaning to me that I was never a size 0 and I was very muscular. I have always been athletic growing up (minus the brief period in adult hood) people would always tell me I had great muscular legs. When it came to dating men seemed to appreciate my Thickness and I had no reason to feel insecure I always thought I was fine in all my glory and thickness that is until….I became fat.

Now this was definitely a turning point for me. I was certifiably fat for roughly 2 years. And during this time I do believe that I took calling myself thick to another level. Whereas before when my Thickness was something I passively thought about now it was at the for front of my mind. When a few friends and family members would approach me about my ballooning size I would say: “what are you talking about I am sexy and THICK“. I stayed in my thick comfort zone. Wearing the tightest dresses I could find that would accentuate my “Thickness” and curves. Thinking about how I felt then, I thought nothing was wrong at all. The fact that even my big jeans were giving me muffin top was fine, the fact that I had to go buy new clothes two sizes bigger was fine, and the fact that I never really recognized myself in pictures anymore was fine. I mean there were no shortage of plus size “Freak-um” dresses and close up pictures and head shots worked just fine for me…..damn-it I was THICK and SEXY.

It was not until reality gave me a hardcore knockout punch in other areas of my life that I noticed that my health was failing and I was not as happy with me as I thought I was. This did not happen overnight by any means it was a gradual process but slowly and surely I started to make my way back to the truly Thick, sexy and athletic woman I once was. I then began to realize that I used the word Thick as a coping mechanism. Because in our society today and especially in urban culture being Thick is a great thing and it encompasses and celebrates women’s curves instead of making us feel bad about ourselves as mainstream culture would have us believe. This is awesome! However we sometimes take this too far. At that point in my life where I was unhealthy and Fat I had taken it too far.

I believe that truly being Thick is having a degree of athleticism and muscular attributes. I believe that the definition of a Thick woman is someone who takes pride in her body and is healthy meaning eating right and partaking in some level of physical activity. Now on the contrary there is “Fat” (and though I really hate that word, it is what it is) and I think someone who has gotten to a level of fatness takes no interest in their health whatsoever. They maintain no level of physical activity and don’t even try to make habitual changes in the right direction. The difference-- Thick women are marked by some level of muscular definition or solidness and Fat women are marked by none. In my life I am a Thick woman who can go run 10 miles and then go home dress up and go dancing all night long, my former Fat self could barely make it a mile without passing out.

And that my friends is my definition of the difference between Thick and Fat. What are your Thoughts?