SPIRIT: BEING HAPPY IN THE VALLEY

How many times have you heard someone say “I will be happy when I get this new job” or “Everything will be fine once we get married” or “As soon as I finish this book things are going to change” we all have a personal statement that we can make like this. Today, I want to talk about being happy in the “valley” of life.

Obviously, we all love to hear the stories of successful people like Oprah or Bill Gates, because they have arrived. However, I think it would have been far more interesting to have heard their stories while they were in the valley, in the daily grind on their way to the top. It is very easy to be happy on the mountain top but what do we do in the valley? How do life’s hurdles and hiccups effect our day to day happiness? How many people have jumped ship on their dreams for a quick fix of happiness?

These are thoughts I think about daily. I have really big dreams for my life that I am actively pursuing. Sometimes it is hard to stay motivated and be happy day to day when I don’t see results. But, it is so crucial that I remain positive and happy to achieve success. I have had a number of very big valleys and low points in my life, so hear are some suggestions on how to remain happy despite your circumstances or not having arrived at your goal:

1 “Leave everything on the field” I love this saying, because what it means is that you are not saving anything for later you are going to give it your all right now. This is crucial to being happy in the valley because sometimes that is all you have. Knowing that every day despite what the circumstances are you gave it your all is something to be joyous about.

2 “Do something for you” Most of the time when you are in the grind pursuing your dreams and dealing with day to day chaos you often forget about yourself. Often we use food to reward ourselves which is not always good. Daily you need to take one hour of your time and do something solely for the benefit of you. Whether you love to read, workout, listen to music you need to make time to do something DAILY that is just for you. This will help you take your mind off of life and just be in the moment.

3 “Give back” The best thing you can do while you are in the valley is help someone else out while they are in theirs. When you give back it takes your mind off your own issues for a moment and puts them toward someone else. It shows us that we are not the only ones that go through things and there are others out there struggling too. Do something on your own, whether it is randomly giving a friend or relative money, spending time with a senior citizen or volunteering to coach youth, whatever you do it will make an impact on your happiness for the good.

4 “Understand it’s the day to day choices” For a while I viewed success as a big miraculous thing that just randomly selected individuals at whim and then “Tadaa” they had everything they ever dreamed for. Well it doesn’t exactly work like that. Success and realizing your dreams is all about the little choices you make day to day the get you steps closer to the goal. When I began to understand this concept I felt relieved and happy. I knew that if I decided to eat the oatmeal instead of the donut that I would be closer to being fit, I knew that if I turned off the TV for an hour and used that time to write and brain storm I would be steps closer to building my brand and so on and so fourth. Knowing this every day helps your happiness because it takes your really big dream and breaks it down into day to day basic decisions.

I really hope that these tips show you how to be happy on the way to mountain top. Rox on!

SPIRIT: "COMMENCE"

PAPAPROXI.COM: COMMENCE! from Paparoxi on Vimeo.

ROXI: STARRENE RHETT

PAPAROXI.COM: ROXI "STAR" from Paparoxi on Vimeo.

The theme here at Paparoxi is to feature people who are pursing their passions and following their dreams. This month’s Roxi Starrene Rhett is a living example of how ones happiness is directly tied to their pursuit of passion. New York City native Star is a successful journalist and blogger. She has interviewed the likes of Wesley snipes, Robert Dinero, Felicia Rashad, Anika Noni Rose, Ice Cube, Kiki Palmer and the list goes on. She founded a wildly successful blog called “Gangstarrgirl” and she currently is the online Editor for Vibe.com and is a contributor to XXL, Juicy and Vibe magazines. Still so early in her career, Star has overcome the road blocks presented by such a volatile and changing industry and she continues on her path to success. One of the things I admire most about Star is her sincerity and humility. She is a really warm person with and infectious smile and it was awesome to be around her.

Website: http://gangstarrgirl.com/

Twitter: Twitter.com/GangStarrGirl

Email: GangStarrGirl@Gmail.com

Why are you a Roxi?

 I am a Roxi because I'm resilient and I don't give up. That sounds very cliche but it's true. So many people never pursue their passion because they are afraid or because they don't see the results they'd like when they'd like but I know that it's important for me to be happy. Happiness is actually more important than money, which is why I'm still pursuing my passion. There's nothing better than feeling fulfilled because you are doing what you love.

What is your favorite food?

I'm such a foodie so I can't just say one thing but I guess if I absolutely had to choose I'd say coal oven pizza specifically from a place in Brooklyn called DeFara's. BEST. PIZZA. EVER. Other than that, spiciness rocks my world.

When did you realize your purpose in life?

 I think our purpose can change and I think that we serve several purposes. For a long time I was searching for my purpose in life--that one thing that I was meant to do but I never found it and I drove myself crazy looking for it. Now I realize that it can be multiple things whether you touch one person's life or several. I came to that realization a couple of months ago. Hope that makes sense.

What is your favorite song?

 That's another one. I don't have one favorite song but the one out of several that popped up automatically is LL Cool J's "Around the Way Girl." There are so many good memories from childhood attached to that song. Plus, it's just a feel good tune. Where I'm from (I grew up in Harlem), being what LL described in the song as a 'round the way girl' was a huge honor because it meant that she was down-to-Earth and Fly but also worldly and knew a little bit about a lot. Sadly, women just don't get that same respect from men in hip-hop nowadays.

What was the hardest thing you have ever had to do?

 Again, there's not just one hardest thing but I think letting go of relationships is hard. In this case I'm talking about getting rid of toxic people in your life. Sometimes the people who were once friends change and you get to a place where you have to re-evaluate what their place is in your life. If the negative outweigh the positive then you have to learn to let go. A lot of times we get sold this notion that friends or a boyfriend are forever but that's simply not always true.

What is your favorite thing to wear?

I love wearing rompers and pants jumpers. Think,1970's style like Pam Grier in Foxy Brown.

What Legacy do you want to leave?

 I just want people to know that I was genuine, humble and that I did the best with what I had. 

SPIRIT: "TATTIMONY"

PAPAROXI.COM: "TATTIMONY" from Paparoxi on Vimeo.

ROX(I)NSPIRATION: THE LEATHER KING

Courtesy The Selby

This was inspiring on many levels. The work is true to the excellence of The Selby. However the story of the "The Leather King" is wonderful and inspiring. Personally it was moving to see someone who is doing what they love every day and is successful at it. To us at PAPAROXI that is the definition of success.