Are We Ever Satisfied?

 

We often move through life going from milestone to milestone. As humans we are always on the quest for the next thing. We never stop to smell the roses. We can complain forever about not having a job and then when we get one we complain about waking up early. We bark about being single and then when we are in a relationship we dish about feeling unappreciated. Even when it comes to the food we eat, there is always room for dessert. Leading me to ask are we ever satisfied?

This previous week in particular had me wondering this very thing about my life. I recently moved into my own apartment, the first time ever I would be living alone. It is certainly a milestone for me. I was in apartment bliss for about 48 hours until I started to notice how particularly quite it was, then I started thinking how great it would be to cuddle with someone in front of this fireplace and then my mind started thinking of a laundry list of completely NEW things to stress, worry and want. I was quite pissed with myself, like “Damn, you cant even be satisfied for a week?”

Its not just me; I know people who have gotten things they have wanted for years, only to complain about those very things shortly afterward. Just imagine if tomorrow we got everything for which we've been hoping, wishing and praying; then right after we get it, we throw it down and complain that it took too long to get here.

Solution. I am all too familiar with feeling unsatisfied. I recognize that I don't like this about myself. Besides constantly monitoring my thoughts (which is a whole different post), my solution is Gratitude. Saying Thank You out loud. There are times when I walk around my room saying all the things for which I am thankful. I know it might sound corny but at the end of this exercise I have so much joy. Once I sat down and wrote all the things I was thankful for and hung it up on my mirror as a daily reminder. Coming to a point in life where you have more gratuitous moments then unsatisfied ones takes spiritual work. Invest the time. Do the exercises. Become better. The book “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay, helped me develop many of these exercises.

Finally, I don't want to mistake being satisfied with being unmotivated. We should all be working toward goals and getting to the next level. However, I believe this process should not hinder our happiness or our ability to be thankful for the progress we have made.

Do you find yourself unsatisfied when you reach certain milestones in your life? Do you take the time to acknowledge your progress? Share your thoughts and comments. 

"Stop Waiting To be Who You Already Are"

  

Stop waiting to be who you already are

- Melody Eshani.

A while back I saw this quote on twitter by jewelery designer Melody Eshani. I cyber-stalk her life sometimes. She just seems so at peace and confident not to mention beautiful, talented and successful. When I read this it really hit me like a ton of bricks. It surpassed being an “ah ha” moment it was a soul altering moment.

Just think for a moment. Everyday we wake up, get dressed and go out into the world trying to build and be more of something every single day. We constantly are setting goals, meeting deadlines and starting new projects in hopes of getting to the success level that we aspire to be. We call it “The Grind”. Constantly moving, working and striving. With this one quote that sort of changes everything.

 “Stop waiting to be who you already are”

 Powerful. Why are we waiting? Prolonging and preparing. Saving and resisting. Why cant we just call ourselves the titles that we desire to be. There is a hesitation. We often discredit ourselves. Down play our impact. It goes something like: “I cant call myself this because I have not been doing it for long enough, I have not paid my dues, I don't have the money to get what I really need to be this, I don't have a website, I haven't worked with enough people, My portfolio isn't big enough, Nobody knows who I am, I am so behind right now, I don't know where to start, I don't know if I am good enough...”

It really boils down to the belief deep down inside that we are not good enough. So we wait. I think the wait comes in different forms for different people. Waiting to some is just not starting at all. Waiting is not fully calling ourselves what we are. Waiting is doing things on a small scale because we don't believe we deserve more. Waiting is sabotaging projects with tardiness, unresponsiveness and procrastination. Waiting is being unfocused, starting 5 different projects but not truly finishing any of them. I am guilty of all of this.

So in the eve of the New Year I challenge you to STOP WAITING! You already are an artist, successful musician, best selling writer, wealthy mogul, world renown fashion designer, a killer attorney, the best teacher and much much more. You already are this person so own it. When we try to be less of who we are we fail at stepping into our great destiny.

What do you think? Are you waiting to be something? Share your thoughts.

Top 6 Reasons why you want to lose weight

This was me at one of my heaviest

I have battled with the bulge for many years. For years I ballooned up and down on the scale. It wasn't until these past few years that I have finally gotten it right. Recently I began to think about my motivation behind wanting to lose weight. Why did I want to be thin? I know for a long time most of my answers to this question were really vain and sometimes they still are (I am only human). The final straw for me was being fed up with my pursuits and wanting to conquer this area of my life once and for all.

However, I began to wonder why do people want to lose weight? I get a lot of emails and have many conversations with friends about weight loss so I thought I would share some of the top reasons people what to lose weight. Can these reasons be helpful or harmful in the long run.

To lose weight for a vacation, wedding or class reunion.

This has been my reason so many times! I cant quite remember how successful I was in achieving any of these goals, but I know it did not last. Obviously the problem with this goal is that once the event is over and you have not reached your target weight all ambitions to lose or to be healthier have gone out the window.

To find/keep the “one”

I do not want to keep emphasizing how I have been there a million times but I have! The motivation to lose weight for someone else often creates resentment. I think if the motivation is based on having more confidence then go ahead shed the pounds but if it is based on pleasing someone else then the results usually do not last.

To feel good about yourself (self esteem)

I don't know a single person that doesn't want to jump in front of the mirror nude and say “Damn, I look good.” All of us want to feel good about ourselves and have confidence. This is a great reason to lose weight. Sometimes when your in the trenches of becoming fit it is easy to forget about feeling good when you feel so bad. Fear not! The choices you make every day on what to eat or going to the gym will get you closer to your goal.

Because someone said you should

This is the worse reason to lose weight. This motivation has nothing to do with what you want for your own life. This solely has to do with someone's opinion of you. Similar to the losing weight for a significant other this reason breads resentment. This motivation will not last. I remember one Thanksgiving my grandfather told me I was fat, I was devastated. I was motivated for maybe a week to try to lose weight but it didn't last. Point being you have to do this for you.

To become active again

Maybe you desire to run a marathon, a triathlon or do one of those mud runs. Having those aspirations is a great reason to get fit again. If you sign up for your race far enough in advance it will give you several months to focus on training for the race. Your focus shifts from looking at the scale to your athletic performance.

 I want to look like (insert famous person's name)

My famous person used to be Amarie. I kept photos of her as my screen saver, I thought about her when I went to the gym. I thought she looked beautiful and I wanted to be that thin. However, one day I realized I will never look like her because I am me. I cant be as thin as her because my body is different. My best “me” is just as great!

Whatever your reason is for losing weight it has to be for you! And not the shallow vain “you” but for the “you” deep down inside that wants to be happy and healthy.

What are you thoughts and reasons for losing weight?

SPIRIT: LEARNING HOW TO WAIT

We are living in the generation of NOW. We get upset if the internet is too slow, when our food takes 10 minutes longer then it should it is grounds for a bad tip and traffic being held up for road work is simply maddening. In order for us to be happy things must happen quickly. This “have it now” mentality often translates to life's goals. We all want it now; career, love and money. We often feel depressed if things seem to be going slow. Instead of waiting for things to pan out we force the issue. We may jump into a career solely for the money and advancement instead of pursuing a career that is our real passion. We may stay in a relationship for the security instead of venturing out to find what we really want.

I am not talking about passively sitting around allowing life to pass by. I am talking about actively working every day at pursing our goals and not compromising just to have the career, love and finances NOW. The act of doing this is much harder then it sounds. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a control freak. Therefore I have had to master the art of waiting.

Waiting is necessary because it teaches and prepares us. Its the time to find out who we really are and what we really love. While we wait we become better in our career of choice and get the experience we need to get to the next level. While we wait we learn to save and pinch pennies to prepare for having lots of money. While we wait we learn to really love ourselves, and understand what we would like to find in someone that would compliment our life. Yes it is easy to say wait, but how exactly do we go about waiting?

Career. In today's job market, it is a little more challenging to break into the industry of choice and pursue your passion. While waiting master your craft. Read as many books as possible. Network. Attend events where people in that industry congregate. Don't just have a resume have a website too, take your chances to the next level. If you want to make movies, write books, or design clothes don't sit around start making your own movies, writing books and designing clothes. Again waiting is not being passive, it is a time to prepare.

Finances. Everyone at a minimum strives to have a comfortable life, where money is a non issue. While you wait for that moment in life you must prepare. I believe that life is a test and often God test us to see if we can handle the next level. So if you recklessly spend money like you have it now then chances are it will take you much longer to get to the point of financial freedom. While you wait, save, invest, look for opportunities to be responsible with money. Prepare your mind to live within your means, most millionaires have this mentality.

Love. This can be one of the most difficult areas for us to learn to wait. For some of us from the time we started dating we always had someone. Either we are in a relationship, talking to someone, have plan A thru D a text away or some type of mutation of a relationship that we have in our lives. If you have always had someone in the picture then it is often very scary to “wait” by yourself. Well if one day you would like to have an incredible love in your life then you need to become the person you want to be with. We all have some sort of mental checklist of attributes for the person we hope to be with. We want someone compassionate, loving, sexy, smart, kind, funny, giving and the list goes on. Use this waiting time to become that person. Become a little more selfless, give back to others, go to the gym become a better you.

So what do you think? Is there an area of your life that you are currently waiting in? How have you learned to wait? Have you become better after your waiting period? Share your thoughts.  

ROX(I)NSPIRATION: THE LEATHER KING

Courtesy The Selby

This was inspiring on many levels. The work is true to the excellence of The Selby. However the story of the "The Leather King" is wonderful and inspiring. Personally it was moving to see someone who is doing what they love every day and is successful at it. To us at PAPAROXI that is the definition of success.